"IF IT DOESN'T OPEN, IT'S NOT YOUR DOOR"
July 14, 2018Rejection is one of the worst feelings in the world. It's that one star in the grand cosmos of human emotions that stings the most when it burns us. Despite being an inevitable part of our life experiences, no matter how much you practice bracing your heart for a one-way ticket to crash-landing in your stomach, nothing can quite prepare you for the real thing. Being told "no" can subsequently trigger a huge old avalanche of negativity, and as my hero in life Katya so eloquently puts it, that demonic voice inside your head that tells you "you're not good enough," makes its way to the front of your brain, and just will not stop yelling. Some people deal with rejection better than others, but if you're an emotional little soul like me, then you'll probably go through all of the same motions that I, and everyone before me, have. In the midst of my moping and sighing stage - aka Stage One, where you're trying to pretend like it really doesn't matter to you, a friend reached out to me and gave me the piece of advice that inspired me to write this post - "If it doesn't open, it's not your door."
So in case you can't already tell, an opportunity recently presented itself, and I unsuccessfully went towards it in the hope that it would be the positive change in my life that I have been so desperately craving. I had just finished my final exams of final year, and it felt like the stars were aligning perfectly for me - I would have been a fool to turn it down. With some encouragement, some positive mentorship and a lot of love and support, I went for it. In hindsight, I definitely wasn't ready. I still have a long way to go in myself and within my environment, and that's something that I have to work on from now until the next time another chance like that comes along. Be it in two months, two years or two weeks. As someone who constantly spends way too much time in their own head, overthinking is the crux of my problems and causes many a lack of emotions or positive thinking. Rejection is a slap with a repetitive sting, no matter how much you convince yourself you're over it, even with the passage of time it still hurts to look back on. But, it's the adrenaline of the flight or fight response that follows that has changed my way of thinking, and I'm going to fight for my chance to open every door around me.
Resilience isn't a word that would immediately spring to mind if I were asked to describe myself. It's funny how your perception of yourself differs so drastically from what those around you see in front of them. One of my closest friends reminds me of my resilience almost daily (and those are the kinds of friends you should have in your life, pals) so much so that I've actually started to believe it a little. After feeling so disparaged by not being the best version of myself, I've realised that my focus needs to be on the things that will allow me to blossom into that person I wish to become. Writing is my passion, and this blog is such an incredible outlet to express myself, and nothing makes me feel better than hitting publish on something that has been bubbling under the surface for weeks. I've been neglecting the best area of opportunity for my future, searching for a new kind of happiness instead of developing the one that has been by my side this whole time.
That's not to say that I'm not going to seek different outlets for my passions too. First and foremost, however, I need to start focusing on the good inside myself and around me, to claw my way back to that positive place in my life that I have somehow fallen so far away from. Instead of taking criticism as a negative, we should turn it into a positive. It isn't designed to bring us down, for someone to laugh at our missteps and take pleasure in our disappointment. Criticism can be for our own good. It clearly outlines our areas of development and opportunity, to help us become our best selves. It's all about selling yourself, and if you can't believe in your own abilities, then it's possible that others won't believe in what you know you're capable of either.
Not every door will open for all of us. In life, not every door is going to allow us to step through a threshold of a potential future. Be it a career, a hobby or something that makes you happy, rejection shouldn't deter your from pursuing your passions. Recognising who I want to be and what I want to do in life, is the best way to bounce back from feeling dejected about something that isn't meant to be. If it doesn't open, it's not your door - so just keep knocking on every single one until someone answers. Reach out to that brand, keep applying for those jobs and don't settle for less than your worth.
10 comments
Wow gal! A great read xx
ReplyDeleteThank you! x
DeleteThis was such a great post! I absolutely love that door quote too, it’s so true and definitely worth thinking about when you’re going through a tough time with rejection.
ReplyDeleteI totally get that people handle it differently. I’m not really sure where I lie on that spectrum. I was recently rejected for a job in a library which I would have been perfect for; I was also rejected for the same job (just a different branch) which I applied for a few months ago. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong and it’s annoying but I’ve tried not to let it get me down too much!
Jenny
http://www.jennyinneverland.com
Thank you so much Jenny! You definitely shouldn't let it get you down. You've built an amazing name for yourself through your reviews and your love of literature, and they're fools not to snap you up! x
DeleteSuch a positive message in this x
ReplyDeleteThanks x
DeleteThis really was a great post! I love the positivity in it and the encouragement to continue to follow your dreams. I feel like I'm in the same place as you. I'm not where I would like to be in life but I'm certainly not where I was. I'm taking the baby steps and doing what I need to do to get to the life I want to live.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the confidence boost for all. Keep it up xx
Jay
blissfulbeautybird.blogspot.com
Thanks Jay! Baby steps are the best thing we can do x
DeleteI'm not sure if my last comment published but I just ant you to know that this was so powerful that it brought tears to my eyes. You have an amazing way of adding weight to your words and this is something that several people needed to hear. Great post.x
ReplyDeleteAh Kelsie, thank you so much! x
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