WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM LIVING WITH MY BOYFRIEND
November 21, 2017Hello everyone! It's been quite a while since I had the time to sit down and write a few posts. University assignments temporarily took over my life for a little bit, and so I sadly had to let my blog take a backseat. But I'm back! And I'm really excited to share with you all of the content I have planned for the last few days of the month and Blogmas.
I've been living with my boyfriend for almost four months now, and in that time our relationship has been pushed to it's limits. We've never lived together without housemates, and so this year we embarked on an adventure together without really considering how great a step in our relationship it was. We've laughed, we've cried (well, I've cried) and we've bickered non-stop. We've learned a lot from living together, and I wanted to share with you all what I've learned from living with my boyfriend.
A ROUTINE MAKES LIFE EASIER
In the first week we moved in together, the air was tinged with bliss and tension. We had never been around just each other 24/7, and we weren't really sure how to deal with that, and so did our best to avoid being confined in the flat all day (how bad does that make us sound?? we like each other, I promise). We went out for lunch, went shopping and explored the rugged coastline around us. Admittedly, I think we were both grateful to start university and placement respectively, because having something to do added a little stability to our daily lives. We had new things to talk about, we had a little bit of space away from each other (which I'll get onto in a moment) and we were able to prioritise what we needed to do every day. But that doesn't mean we don't enjoy a little bit of spontaneity too, and every day is different in different ways. However, I think it's really important to establish a routine when you live together, because it stops you both from forgetting things on your to-do list and gives you something to look forward to every day.
PATIENCE IS EVERYTHING
Admittedly, I'm not a very patient person, much to the dismay of my long-suffering partner. I like to get things done quickly, efficiently which then allows me to dedicate a lot of time to sitting on my arse, not doing very much at all, so when things don't get done it leaves me feeling testy and annoyed. My boyfriend is a little more leisurely, and it took me a while to get used to how slowly he gets things done. If there's one lesson I can take away from living with my boyfriend, it's that patience is everything. It allows you to both feel relaxed and at ease around each other, and even if things are getting tough and tense, a little bit of patience and perseverance goes a long way.
Admittedly, I'm not a very patient person, much to the dismay of my long-suffering partner. I like to get things done quickly, efficiently which then allows me to dedicate a lot of time to sitting on my arse, not doing very much at all, so when things don't get done it leaves me feeling testy and annoyed. My boyfriend is a little more leisurely, and it took me a while to get used to how slowly he gets things done. If there's one lesson I can take away from living with my boyfriend, it's that patience is everything. It allows you to both feel relaxed and at ease around each other, and even if things are getting tough and tense, a little bit of patience and perseverance goes a long way.
DON'T LIVE IN EACH OTHER'S POCKETS
As much as we love spending time with each other, it's essential that we both live our own lives and have our own hobbies and activities that we enjoy. During the day we have university, placement and our jobs, and in the evenings we have different societies that we like to attend. Currently, my boyfriend is at karate and I'm alone in the house for a couple of hours, and those hours are like a respite for me. I get to focus on things I enjoy doing without ignoring him because he's also doing something he enjoys. When we didn't live together, we would have spent every spare moment together, but the distance made those times with each other even more special, which is why I think it's really important to retain a little bit of that aspect, because it makes the evenings we have together worthwhile.
As much as we love spending time with each other, it's essential that we both live our own lives and have our own hobbies and activities that we enjoy. During the day we have university, placement and our jobs, and in the evenings we have different societies that we like to attend. Currently, my boyfriend is at karate and I'm alone in the house for a couple of hours, and those hours are like a respite for me. I get to focus on things I enjoy doing without ignoring him because he's also doing something he enjoys. When we didn't live together, we would have spent every spare moment together, but the distance made those times with each other even more special, which is why I think it's really important to retain a little bit of that aspect, because it makes the evenings we have together worthwhile.
TALK IT OUT - QUICKLY
Thankfully we don't often have massive arguments, but we are both notoriously bad at expressing our frustrations and annoyances to each other. This often leads to a rather frosty atmosphere, tension and the constant reassurances of "I'm fine." The biggest lesson we've learned since moving in together is the importance of talking it out and getting issues and grievances resolved before it spirals out of control. It's odd because we've always felt comfortable around each other (a little too comfortable he would probably say), but even after six years it's been difficult to talk to each other about each other. Hopefully, by the time we move back home in May, we'll have conquered this massive obstacle in our relationship, but currently we're definitely on the right track.
Thankfully we don't often have massive arguments, but we are both notoriously bad at expressing our frustrations and annoyances to each other. This often leads to a rather frosty atmosphere, tension and the constant reassurances of "I'm fine." The biggest lesson we've learned since moving in together is the importance of talking it out and getting issues and grievances resolved before it spirals out of control. It's odd because we've always felt comfortable around each other (a little too comfortable he would probably say), but even after six years it's been difficult to talk to each other about each other. Hopefully, by the time we move back home in May, we'll have conquered this massive obstacle in our relationship, but currently we're definitely on the right track.
DON'T TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED
Getting used to each other can potentially lead to becoming complacent in a relationship, but we try our best to go out of our way for each other, and never take our relationship for granted. My boyfriend treats me with nothing but respect, with a playful attitude and lots of love and affection, and at one point in time I did take his kindness for granted. But since moving in together we've overcome a lot, and I've learned to not take advantage of his kindness and generosity, and do my best to repay him with little acts of kindness every day.
Getting used to each other can potentially lead to becoming complacent in a relationship, but we try our best to go out of our way for each other, and never take our relationship for granted. My boyfriend treats me with nothing but respect, with a playful attitude and lots of love and affection, and at one point in time I did take his kindness for granted. But since moving in together we've overcome a lot, and I've learned to not take advantage of his kindness and generosity, and do my best to repay him with little acts of kindness every day.
DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
To go with my lack of patience, I also have a reputation for freaking out over things that aren't done, wile simultaneously being THE messiest person alive. In the first few weeks, I freaked out over everything - unwashed dishes, dirty floors and beard hair in the sink, but also found myself guilty of the exact same things (minus the beard hair obviously). Maybe we've both just transformed into absolute pigs, or become a little bit complacent with our household chores, but we both know we'll get round to everything eventually, so we've learned to just let it go and not sweat the small stuff. We can have a laugh, a joke and a rant about it all, and pull our socks up when we need to.
To go with my lack of patience, I also have a reputation for freaking out over things that aren't done, wile simultaneously being THE messiest person alive. In the first few weeks, I freaked out over everything - unwashed dishes, dirty floors and beard hair in the sink, but also found myself guilty of the exact same things (minus the beard hair obviously). Maybe we've both just transformed into absolute pigs, or become a little bit complacent with our household chores, but we both know we'll get round to everything eventually, so we've learned to just let it go and not sweat the small stuff. We can have a laugh, a joke and a rant about it all, and pull our socks up when we need to.
I won't pretend that living together is easy, but it's certainly not boring. If anything, we've become closer as a couple and matured as people. I feel more independent, and I've definitely noticed a new sense of easiness in our relationship, that I hope will continue long into the future. Now we've had a taste of living by ourselves, I don't know if we'll ever be ready to leave each other and return home, which will sadly happen come the end of the academic year, but the distance will make the future even more exciting!
I hope you've enjoyed this post, and it hasn't put you off moving in with your partner in the future!
Until next time,
Rachel x
I hope you've enjoyed this post, and it hasn't put you off moving in with your partner in the future!
Until next time,
Rachel x
10 comments
These points are so true, I really agree with still making time to do your own things rather than live in each others' pockets. Although I don't live with my boyfriend, we found at one stage that we were spending too much time together and not being productive with our own things, we get on much better now that we can still do our own stuff x
ReplyDeleteAlice www.accordingtoalicex.com
That's what we found when we weren't living together too! In the beginning, we used to see each other every weekend, and then it became almost every day which we found really hard to deal with, so finding that balance while living together is so important x
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this post! Ive been living with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now and the patience is something that you need to keep working on haha love this though - great tips hun xx
ReplyDeleteThank you! x
DeleteLovely post. It really is a change to move in with someone else, but it sounds like you guys had a good solution for it.
ReplyDeletewww.malinhanssen.com
Thank you so much! x
DeleteI loved reading this, I’ve never lived with my boyfriend so it’s quite interesting to hear other people’s experiences and tips on it! Communication is definitely so important whether you live together or not which took me a while to really understand haha, but I can see how living together can really force you to just talk it out instead of ignoring conflicts and having a tensed enviroment! Great post! xx
ReplyDeleteIt's been challenging, but it's also been such a great learning and growing experience for us both! x
DeleteI agree with all of these points! I've lived with my boyfriend for 18months but we virtually lived together before that at my student house and as much as he drives me up the wall sometimes I wouldn't have it any other way and now I couldn't imagine living without him. Hope you enjoy the rest of your time living together! X
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! The same to you my lovely x
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