YOUR RESULTS DO NOT DEFINE YOU
August 16, 2017From a young age, my family championed me as "the brains of the family." I was able to read, write, spell and perform to a high standard, I achieved top scores in basic primary school tests and planned my entire future. At 11, I knew exactly where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do by the time I was 18. But my reality became world's away from my pre-teen fantasies. These are situations that many of you my well have experienced too, transforming from the child "prodigy" of the family, to feeling like a total disappointment.
Fast-forward to being 16 years old and GCSE results day. My high school had a point system hat decided which students would return for two years of sixth form, the entry requirement was 11.5 points and at the very least a B in every subject you wanted to do for A-Level. I opened that envelope, my heart sank and that day sparked three years of bad luck on results days. I know that results day is looming over many of you, and today I'm here to tell you that no matter what happens, you can make a success out of your perceived failures. I'm proof of that.
COAT: DV8
BLOUSE: PULL AND BEAR
TROUSERS: STRADIVARIUS
Now, my GCSE results weren't terrible, but they definitely weren't what I was expecting, but I always had that sinking feeling in my heart when I thought about that results day. I knew I hadn't worked hard enough, due in part to a sudden and lengthily bout of illness, (but I'm saving that for another post!) but mainly down to my own laziness. I was piss poor at anything scientific or mathematical, and my teachers made me feel like absolute shit about that, so I didn't put any effort into those grades whatsoever. They weren't so much of a shock, and they weren't what I wanted to focus on in life anyway. My humanities and languages teachers were much more encouraging, so needless to say I concentrated on those subjects and I was pleased with what I achieved. I sailed through the points system, but the minimum grade requirement really screwed me over.
I got the grades required to make up three AS subjects, English, German and French, but my school required us to do a fourth subject, y'know, just in case it didn't all work out, I chose history but alas, I didn't meet the grade. My then-history teacher said he'd discuss it with the head of department, but because the jump to AS was so difficult he couldn't make any promises. If I wasn't able to cope with the GCSE workload, how could I cope with the A-Level? My mum and head of year fought for me, but as most other people in my year collected their lower sixth school ties, a rite of passage, I walked out that day empty handed.
Fortunately, the head of department said he would be more than happy to take me on a student, and the day was saved. I was able to continue happily onto the next level of high school education. So, you'd think I would have learned from my mistakes, but come AS results day, there I am again, sitting in the pastoral care office with my head of year and careers teacher opposite me. "We have to stop meeting like this Mrs Irvine," he said to my mother, in the chair next to me once again.
When A-Level students tell you that the jump from GCSE to A-Level is utterly unbelievable, they aren't joking. The workload is huge, the stress is severe and that "first day of term" talk certainly didn't help either. One of the teachers placed a lot of emphasis on, "What you get at AS, is what you get at A2," aka "These grades affect you for the rest of your life, if you fail this year, you will fail next year. Good luck, and don't fuck it up!" Truly inspirational and encouraging words. As I said, you would think I learned my lesson the hard way, but what can I say, I enjoy making things harder for myself.
There is no excuse for my laziness and lack of productivity when it came to my AS exams, I flunked all of them, and my grades were truly awful. C/D/D/E. As my careers teacher so bluntly put it, "There is a very slim chance you will change these grades and get into university, my advice would be start looking at lower entry courses or college." Her words were the kick up the arse I so desperately needed, and in another twist of fate, or by sheer dumb luck, they let me continue onto my final year.
I have never worked so hard for something before in my life. I needed to push every grade up by at least one, something that most authoritative figures said would be near impossible to do. Never tell a young adult on a mission that they can't do something, because that will only push them harder towards their goal. When exam time was a mere three months away, I was up in my room every night going over everything I had learned over the past two years. I attended extra classes to help prepare for resits, and did twice the amount of work most of my friends had to do, because unlike me, they were sensible enough to actually do well the first time around.
A-Level results day, and somehow, by some miracle, I got the grades I needed to get into my second choice university. However, at the beginning of the year in my determination to better myself, I applied for a university with entry requirements that far exceeded my capabilities and placed it as my first choice. We all have to have something to aspire to, right? Right?! Try telling that to my infinite wisdom. You can probably imagine how this story plays out. I was placed in pending, meaning that I couldn't accept my offer from my second choice, until my first choice decided whether or not to accept me. At that stage, it didn't really matter to me, I had somehow managed to gain a place at university regardless. But there I am once again, in the queue with my mum and my dad by my side, awaiting the verdict from my careers teacher on whether or not I would end up at my first choice. Her words of wisdom, "Probably not, but just wait it out and see." Great, thanks.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST
I don't know how many sleepless nights I endured until results day finally dawned, but what I've realised since then is, there's nothing you can do to change those results. What's done is done and there is no point in worrying about an exam you did weeks ago. Yes, you can have regrets over maybe not working as hard as you could have, and I'd be lying if I told you that I don't experience the exact same feeling even to this day. That's just something we all have to learn how to deal with in our own time, learning from our past is important, but we also have to remember that we can't change it.
YOU MAY NOT BE ON THE PATH YOU WANT TO FOLLOW
My life today is completely different to the one my 11 year old self envisioned, but I'm extremely excited about where it's leading me. Life is flexible and ever-changing and sometimes it doesn't work out how we wanted to. But it's important to keep an open mind and realise that (yes, there is a big cliche coming up!) everything does happen for a reason. Not getting onto that medicine degree could be the best thing to ever to happen to you, because it could open your eyes to a whole world of possibilities that exist. Maybe university isn't for you, and you're thinking about taking a year out to rest and work. The expectations that you have for yourself will always be different to the reality you're going to experience, and what I've learned is that it's important to embrace change with open arms. We'll all figure out where we're supposed to be one day.
YOU ARE NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT
The fear of disappointing family and loved ones, is something that I still struggle with today, but results day amplified that times one billion. Childhood pressures and modern day expectations made me feel like I had to succeed or else I would let everyone down, but I needn't have worried and neither should you. There is more academic pressure on young people now than ever before, with exams being made harder and entry requirements for university rising, therefore you may think that you're going to let everyone down, but that couldn't be further from the truth. You will achieve so much in your life that will make your loved ones feel proud, and the fact that you've even gone through this process will make them feel that way too. So don't worry about what they think, just worry about making yourself feel proud. You are your own worst critic.
YOUR GRADES DO NOT DEFINE YOU
I have always been the type of person to place emphasis on the academics, and I learned the hard way that there's a lot more to life than just grades. You have achieved and overcome so much in your life already, just take a look around at where you are today! You grades do not change who you are as a person, and they certainly do not define you. Your quality of character, your ability to carry on and your determination to pull through, those are qualities that define you. Letters on a page mean nothing in the grand scheme of how the world works, even if they mean everything to you in that moment. So please, let my failures remind you that no matter what that page says, you can build yourself back up again and get to where you want to be. All it takes is determination and strength, and you have that in spades.
Good luck to any of you waiting for results over the next week, I'm proud of you and I believe in you. I hope this post has provided you with some comfort and motivation, and remember that these grades do not make you or break you. You've got this.
Until next time,
Rachel x
6 comments
I love this post! As someone who's very recently gone through all of this I relate to your story! My predicted A level grades and the ones I got were not what I needed for my first choice. Luckily I got in by some miracle! Now I'm about to start second year and I love it! All the work and effort and stress was worth it! A fantastic post especially so soon to Results day, I'm sure there will be many that value it! :)
ReplyDeleteCleanbaseline.blogspot.co.uk
Thank you so much Ghazal! It's tough when your reality doesn't match up to the predictions, but I'm really glad it all worked out for you in the long run. Best of luck with second year x
DeleteGreat post! When I was younger I felt like I should have done better, I got great grades, I got a 2:1 from my degree and I'm now about to start a great graduate scheme but I always put so much pressure on myself to try and be perfect. I've learnt that you have to put hard work in but not stress about the grades, as you've shown it really does work out in the end and you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it. Amazing advice, I really hope people don't think A level results day is the be all and end all because it really isn't. LOVE your mustard coat by the way x
ReplyDeleteYasmin x
The Sweet Seven Five
Thanks Yasmin, so glad to hear that you're doing so well for yourself! You should be proud of every achievement you accomplish, and I completely agree. I've learned that you definitely get as good as you give. Thank you so much! x
DeleteLove this post because I was in the same position where I applied for unis too high for my predicted with the hope I'd somehow make the grades but didn't put in the work but life worked out for me and I made into a uni I applied to but never picked once getting the offer!
ReplyDeleteVery inspiring and uplifting.
With Love Yossy x
Thank you so much Yossy, it's sad to hear that so many have been in the same situation, but I'm glad everything worked out well for you! x
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